still waiting

I've resisted writing about any "symptoms" I may or may not be having right. We are 8 days past ovulation and time is going really slow! I just want to know already. I'm sorry for woman that have many TWW under their belts, it's really excruciating. This loop keeps playing in my head "Am I?" "Am I not?", it's getting kinda old. No one likes that continuous song that just won't get out of your head.

I start 7 on 7 off this Thursday and right now I'm in a 5 day off stretch. It's lovely. I am really enjoying myself. :) However, our weekend was kinda lame. We went to our donor's parents house on Saturday with the dog and discovered that we just can't stay the night over there. Pickle was too uncomfortable, we were miserable dealing with him and we were all crammed into a tiny bed with covers that kept falling off, the biggest pillows I've ever seen and a disco tech of lights in our room everytime a car drove by. I can not imagine re-playing that night with a baby! So, it may be disappointing for them but it just doesn't work for us to stay there. I am feeling very mother bear about this possible zygote I am carrying. We need to do what is best for our family and I'm really not concerned if other people have their feelings hurt or their expectations aren't met in the process. This is really huge for me, I usually care very much about other peoples feelings and feel racked with guilt if I hurt anyones feelings. As I was tossing and turning in their house in that horrid bed it became very clear to me that this is really not about them. It's about T and Pickle and me and our baby.... OUR family. Yes we want them to be involved but the focus is on us right now not building up a relationship with strangers. I know all this may sound harsh but this is my corner of the world for venting and talking about all things related to this process of making our family. Sometimes it's not sweet or kind, sometimes it's just real.