loss

It's funny how life can pull the rug out from under you, whip you around and completely surprise you. Last night I was perusing some online shopping, considering buying the very expensive clear blue fertility monitor. I decided against it even though I found what I thought to be a killer deal. T and I have discussed buying said monitor but I just couldn't bring myself to hit the buy button with out her being in the process. I can sometimes be a stagnant buyer especially if said item is almost 200 dollars! Sometimes, I need her to give me the push, this follows true in many areas of my life but that's for a different story. Anyway, so didn't buy the monitor and woke up this afternoon to T home early from work. This morning her father took his life. I feel so sad for her. Their relationship has been strained and distant for some time due to choices that he has made, and how he lived his life. I have never met the man, but I know he was a good father to her in her formative years. I know she is grieving and trying to wrap her head around this whole sad story and it breaks my heart that I can't be with her right now. We bought an expensive emergency ticket home this afternoon and she will be there all weekend. So sad, that what I thought was going to be a major nesting weekend turns out to be the complete opposite. My love is grieving the loss of her dad thousand of miles away and I'm home alone trying to keep picky from scratching himself up.