bath musings

I've been a regular stalker of lesbian TTC blogs since T and I started seriously laying down plans of when we want to jump on this baby train. Tonight, while taking a bath and letting my mind wander to all the "what ifs" of TTC I decided a good therapeutic place for me to put all my concerns in order and out loud in a sense would be to start my own blog. So, here I am.
Tonight I was feeling very hopeful regarding my plight of getting off anti-depressants. Seeing a naturopath for the first time and her discovering I have a Mg deficiency has totally boosted my confidence in holistic approach to my health and fertility in particular. I guess I have no reason to believe that I will have a hard time conceiving but reading so many women's struggle with TTC and using frozen sperm has made me realize that I need all the help I can get. I can't be lazy about my health, especially when we are talking about shelling out several hundred dollars for those precious little swimming gametes with only a 20% motility thaw rate! I work in a lab and we do fertility studies. If a man was to submit a semen sample to us and we analyzed less than 50% motility, the doctor would consider his fertility impaired. I mean 20% just seems absurd and totally ridiculous that we are supposed to hit the money shot with one, perhaps two tiny little vials. Ah, but alas we will try and we will feel hopeful and confident when we do it damnit! It's reassuring to me that we have a step plan approach to this whole thing. 3 trys on our own, in the comfort of our own bed relying on the clear blue monitor to tell me when I'm ovulating. Then we move on to doctor monitored, and then perhaps IVF. If all else fails and my uterus proves to be a dud, then we always have the robot reproductive system of my wife. I swear she's so damn regular she probably gets a memo when she is ovulating, its crazy! Oh how I love her.